introversion

Harry Potter’s… wand wang?

Chrono Trigger was… too short (’bout 20 hours including all the side quests). Robo is awesome and the fact that you don’t have to have your main character in your active group is great. Strangely enough, I beat Chrono Cross before Chrono Trigger–and messed up while doing so (damn you, Marbule and the Black Dragon and you, too, Glenn (from Chrono Cross, not “Frog” Glenn because he’s cool)). *sigh* Somehow I expected more to be done with the time travel concept, but I suppose it being a SNES game with multiple endings, I should be satisfied. But I’m not… so much potential. Fooling around with the idea of writing a post-game fanfic, but I always botch up characterisaions. “Trigger” is a better game than “Cross” in my personal opinion. Heh, they couldn’t win a romantic like me over with “Cross"–I think all the characters you can gather and all the stories you can discover (or not) just detract from a pure storyline (such as Xenogears, one of my personal favs, though that whole jumping thing annoyed the hell out of me; I remember this one jumping part… I must have done it over a million times because I kept missing the ledges). In other words, CC didn’t have much story at all to it. CT could have had mucho story, and it is very cool how they took into account how altering something in the past affects the future (I particularly liked that), but it’s just so short. I hate when RPGs lead you on. You think, oh man, this game is so long it’s got to have so much story! But really it ends up you just run from one thing to another completing mini-quest after mini-quest so that you can open one door. Thanks. Xenogears, from what I can remember, kept me enthralled with a story. I hear Xenosaga plays like a movie. *sigh* Now if only I could decide if I liked the Elements system of CC or the Magic system of CT better…

The full Comic-Con experience went as follows:

Thursday, July 17

Much time spent finding parking. Then time spent waiting in line to pick up pre-reg tickets. Then a ridiculous 30 minutes plus waiting for my brother to buy his ticket through the regular line.

1:30-2:30: Animation on a Shoestring Budget: We sat through some of this (well, I suppose a lot, considering the time), and then headed out and hopped in the room next door to catch the end of the Spotlight on Nalo Hopkinson panel.

2:30-3:00: Donato Giancola: While my brothers stayed behind for the Spotlight on Dave McKean panel, I hopped on over and caught the last half-hour of the Giancola panel. What beautiful art this guy does! In his own words, he’s a dinosaur: he does his artwork in oils.

3:00-3:30: Spotlight on Dave McKean: Then I hopped back over to the McKean thing and caught some of his interesting but at times admittedly disturbing art.

4:30-5:30: From the Cradle to the Keyboard 1: Listening to a panel of authors is always fun. My brothers wandered about (after discovering that the OneRing.net L.O.T.R. panel was a room full of Tolkien, erm, fanatics).

5:30-7:00: CFQ: Summer Movies: Saw some interesting trailers… The Returner, Shaolin Soccer, and So Close: Asian movies from overseas.

8:30-11:00: Lucasfilm & AtomFilms.com Star Wars Fan Film Awards: One of the absolute best things I saw… great fan films and the “Star Wars in Thirty Minutes” production was absolutely hilarious and wholeheartedly entertaining.

Friday, July 18

10:30-12:00: Comic Books in the Movies: Listening to Stan Lee and waiting for my bro

12:00-1:00: Rob Zombie: Some promotion for House of 1000 Corpses.

1:30-2:30: Bill Plympton: This man is truly impressive: he does all his animation solely on his own. Kind of disturbing though…

2:30-not too long afterwards: Lucasfilm Star Wars Show: … Lucasfilm sucks. They do not love their fans. Die, Lucasfilm, die.

4:30-5:30: Miramax: Kill Bill: No one showed up but an actor I didn’t care about. Quentin and the others got stuck… somewhere. They showed up later in the week, but we missed them. I heard Quentin just talked his head off though, so no loss, since what I heard coming out of his mouth didn’t have me very interested.

5:30-7:00: Movie Webmasters Unloaded: Whee! Panel of guys talking about delivering the news and whatnot. I found it interesting, anywho.

Saturday, July 19

10:00-11:30 (11:50/12ish?): Waiting in Line for Ballroom 20 and Missing Halle Barry, Thank You: Exactly what it sounds like. It was out of this friggin’ world how long that damn line was. Sheesh.

11:30(12ish?)-12:30: Paramount: Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Yeah, we saw Angelina. Yay. People kissed her ass. Yay. Could not get a good close up look at her. Yay.

12:30-2:00: Kevin Smith: I did not expect this to be good, but he’s a damn funny guy. Enjoyed myself immensely during this Q&A session.

2:00-3:30: New Line LOTR and Freddy vs. Jason: Hm. Interesting stuff I suppose. Actors came out: Elijah Wood, the guys who play Sam and Merry. Yeah. Those dudes. Didn’t really get a trailer though.

3:30-4ish: Sony: Underworld: There was to be a lot happening on this panel, but we only saw Underworld advertising. Hm. This was also the time of the “Incident with the Asshole"–we’ll leave it at that.

4ish-5:30: Cartoon Voices: Cool dudes. Cool voices. Fun scripts they read.

7:00-10:00: Kung-fu Superhero Klip Extravaganza: Some were good. Some were not. Keep an eye out for Moon Warriors, Legend of Gingko, and Moussa (I have no idea how this one is spelled)… if you get them, please kindly let me borrow them.

10:00-11:30: Spike & Mike’s Sick & Twisted Festival: Some were good. Some were not. Annoying, “tipsy” girls behind us who spoke too goddamn loudly. Annoying guy in the row in front of us. Fun.

11:30ish: Caught the tail end of the Masquerade via the TV set up in the Sails Pavilion. There was a dude dressed as Jesus there. How odd.

Sunday, July 20

12:20ish: Quentin and his Kill Bill: We caught the tail end of Quentin’s talk and the new trailer, unseen as of then. Yeah.

12:30-2:00: Eliza Dushku: Tru Calling: Watched the entire pilot episode for “Tru Callling” and then a few clips from other upcoming Fox series and then a short Q&A for the Tru Calling cast, including Dushku.

End Notes

There were times when it was fun. There were times when it wasn’t; things were frustrating, people were frustrating, crowds were frustrating, but overall, Comic-Con always leaves a good feeling. All the big empty spaces of time usually meant that we were eating or walking the floor. Hm. We hardly picked up any freebies. I got some sideburns from the Pioneer stand, and the Haibane Renmei fan I picked up kept me from keeling over from the extreme heat in Ballroom 20 on the last day. Hm. Maybe I’ll have more to say on this some other time. Need sleep.

Argh… Comic-Con International… it comes with the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Ugly: Parking. God forbid you get there late. Parking is a nightmare. And expensive. And annoying. And the traffic. And driving around. And… yeah…

Bad: Panels that are just stupid. That includes the Lucasfilms panel today. Friggin’ Lucas Arts. Getting dizzy on the floor isn’t fun, but the floor is just crazy, period, and the craziness just adds to the environment. It’s always really interesting to see all the stands set up, especially the big corporate ones because they try to make them look all pretty to attract you. But it’s not like I’ve been on the floor too much. Once the programming starts, it’s pretty much running from one program to the next. And some people and their fandom can be scary.

Good: Lots of good. Seeing famous people. Listening to interesting panels. Seeing things you definitely did not expect to see. Learning something you didn’t expect to learn. Rediscovering a love for old hobbies…

All right, Comic-Con always promises to be fun, but it is definitely draining. You think with sitting on your ass for so many hours and listening to people you wouldn’t be sore, but it does tire you out. Has anyone else noticed how goddamn killer those stairs are going up? Sheesh. (My brother overheard someone telling another guy to not take the stairs but the escalator. HAHA!) I also believe you should use your ticket and your money to the max, so see everything you can–even if that means staying late and being half-dead. Actually, I must say one of the most amusing things I’ve ever seen was the “Stars Wars in Thirty Minutes” that was developed by USC–friggin’ hilarious and well put together (although in truth it was around 35 minutes, not 30, but personally I could have hoped for it to go on longer… so funny). Plus, it was an absolute surprise! Right after the Star Wars fan film awards–that made staying all the more worth it! Saw Rob Zombie today.

Speaking of Rob Zombie, and thinking of his panel (promoting House of 1000 Corpses, of course, which I haven’t even seen), let me just say that many people that go to Comic-Con are kiss-asses and ask stupid questions and enduring that time and time again gets boring fast.

Seeing trailers and whatnot it always one of the icings on the cake: Tomorrow shall be the trailer day! Shall we see Angelina Joelie (how the heck do you spell her name?)? More famous people to see…

I think in a way Comic-Con kind of upsets me–especially when I go to writing panels w/authors. It always gets me so revved up, and then when I come crashing down it’s always a bummer. Goddamn. But let me say this: seeing such gorgeous art, hearing such talented people who are unpretentious and truly put themselves in their work–it’s all very enjoyable. Even if I never get into the field, it gives me a reason never to stop dreaming and never to stop conceptualizing and wondering and it’s wonderful. Oh yeah, and Donato’s artwork for covers and whatnot? Gorgeous. Ah, if I could but afford a piece of his work…

Speaking of works, I met and spoke with Fred Gallager (I shall edit and fix these names some other day) of MegaTokyo fame. Real nice guy . He drew me a sketch of Seraphim–and the real Seraphim signed it, too. I hope them all the success because they are genuinely authentic and nice people.

Man, these past two days have been a blur… I’ve only seen one person from school. Come on, now, I’m bound to bump into more people. If anyone has a love of sci-fi, movies (go Saturday. I don’t care. Just go. Those big production companies? That advertise on that day like it’s going out of style), books, comics–I seriously recommend going at least once. Just go! It’s not just comics, people! If nothing else, it’s shocking to just see so many people… and the famous people, too, if you can catch a glimpse!

Oh, and those people who expect me to be in the anime rooms? Man, I don’t even look at the listing anymore… there’s just entirely too much to do and see.

Oh jeez. I mean, damn. The last episode of Juuni Kokki’s (12 Kingdoms) first season… so good. Man, I knew all along what would happen with Shoukei and Suzu in the end, but still, I hope the second season also focuses on Yoko and the kingdom of Kei, because damn, Yoko finally kicks ass.

And episode 15 of Last Exile, too! That was just as good, maybe better! And I watched it directly after Juuni Kokki! ARGH! Such a cliffhanger! (Or as someone mentioned on a message board, it wasn’t a cliffhanger, but it might as well have been.) Goddamn… Have to wait until next Wednesday for the next episode. *Sigh* It seems I live my life from one anime episode to the next.

On another note, tomorrow Comic-Con begins! YAY! It’s going to be a few days of madness, soreness, and dizziness. The floor is a scary place. Gets me all disoriented craning my neck around to see everything and trying to dodge people. It’s all good, though. Last year was loads of fun. Hopefully, we can further refine our methods. (Flashing on a line from “Red Dragon"…)

Lastly, I have this story line in my head that I can’t quite fit into an actual story. Anyone want to discuss story ideas? With my usual story discussion partner stripped of time and AIM services, I haven’t fleshed out any story ideas with anyone in a while. Drop me a line or IM me.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll make it through life. I’m always so unmotivated. It would be smart of me to go college visiting, but I’ve not seen one yet. It might also be smart of me to actually consider what college I want to go to. Hell, I could have gotten a job this summer. But, no, I did none of these things. Instead, surprisingly enough, I did something that people would probably expect me to do but usually don’t: I wrote this summer. I didn’t write a lot, but it was a heck of a lot more than I’ve done any summer before. Most of the time, I don’t even know what I’m writing. Sometimes I only kick out one hundred words a day–something that can take me up to an hour to do (it can be shockingly difficult to use precisely 100 words to get an entire scene/idea down). It’s fun, though. Maybe I’m learning a bit from it; I hope so. If I decide to major in English in college, at least I’ll be doing something I like. Ah, back to college I see…

Lately, it’s been hitting me how long it’s been since I’ve been in PA. How long it’s been since I’ve seen the family I have on the East Coast. I never would have imagined myself living here in California. In fact, I absolutely hated it at first. I hated my days at RDR. It wasn’t the school, I can say that without any bad feelings for the public school system, but it just wasn’t my place. It didn’t help that my stay was, what, a month, more than a month? I didn’t make any friends and I had no reason to. Those days were slow days; I read many a book in many a nook. Why am I talking about this? I guess I’m just thinking about my friends now. I don’t like it when someone calls me a good friend, because, quite frankly, I’m not. When people suffer, I don’t really feel sorry for them; to tell the truth, sometimes it’s a thrill–to puzzle it out, to see the hows and the whys. It’s not normal and it’s not something you want in a friend. I don’t see how people can talk on the phone. I hate the phone. I hate when people call me on the phone because I feel obligated to talk. I’m always fishing around for a subject and then there are always awkward silences. What the heck do I say? I probably sound stupid half the time; I don’t even know why I bother. And then I have to figure out how to say “goodbye” in a way that doesn’t seem like I’m outright hanging up, though sometimes I feel like it. It especially grates on my nerves when people say “I’ll let you go” because it always hits me that that’s exactly what it feels like.

No wonder I don’t have many friends.

Sometimes I feel so young and naive; especially nowadays when I keep discovering things about people I used to think the world of when I was younger. It’s both shocking and saddening to have the darker side of people revealed to you. All I can think of is the kindness I received from them or how they seemed nigh perfect to me. Ah. Sometimes growing up just sucks.

Anime Expo: what a disappointment.
Comicon: promises to be excellent.
Pre-cal: over tomorrow!
Trigonometry: why the hell did i sign up for this?
Writing: everytime I feel like I should skip a day, I feel guilty and write one anyway…
Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey: what a fun read! masochistic high-class prostitutes are so much fun now! someone buy me the next two books in the series… it’ll keep me occupied until George R. R. Martin’s next book!
Headaches: suck. make them go away.
Impending College: where to apply? how to apply? this sucks.
Summer: being completely wasted by me once again…

I’ve been meaning to write something in here for a few days now. Never seemed to get around to it. But, since I wrote such a pathetic four-line short today, I guess I should make up by letting my tired mind run away with me.

For starters, the San Diego Wild Animal Park and Zoo are fun. Go visit. “Ooh” and “ahh” at the cool animals. Watching them is very relaxing. I find myself losing all sense of time and place. It’s just the animals and how friggin’ amazing they are. Just one form of beauty.

It was nice to go to the zoo today; it topped off a day started with a very short pre-cal class–man, I have never been more glad to hear when I have tests. It so sweet to just go in, take a test, and walk out. Oh, man, class days just drag on and on. The thought of pre-cal ending next week makes me happy–and then I realize I have trig classes. Damn me. Why must I be such a nerd? Someone needs to knock some sense into me or something, please.

Carlights… I’ve been thinking about carlights and cars and the traffic on Olympic Parkway. Actually, I’ve been thinking back to the days when I used to stay at my cousin’s. I would lie awake at night, or suddenly wake up, and I would hear a car passing by and see its headlights filtered through the curtains and slanting across the ceiling. Lately, I’ve been going on walks with my parents, along the trail that runs along Olympic Parkway. It’s quite a walk, actually, to one end and back, and a lot of times I just blank out. The one constant is the sound of cars whizzing by and I realized it’s almost soothing–a modern day lullaby or somesuch. And when I look out when it gets dark and all those headlights are beaming back at me, it looks almost… beautiful. I hate driving at night, having those same headlights and brakelights stabbing into my eyeballs… but when I see them then, it’s different. I don’t know why. I don’t really care. I just know that there’s something about it, something I haven’t quite found words for yet although it’s been on my mind for quite some time. Maybe another time it’ll come to me, maybe never.

Last but not least, hot damn, is it July already? Where has my summer gone? And what have I been doing? I spoke to a friend earlier this summer and she said she was coming out to CA–to look at colleges. I haven’t looked at one single college. My brother wants me to apply to Harvard. It seems so ridiculous to me. Harvard. I have next to no extracurricular activities and I’m probably not even first in my class–the only reason Harvard would ever accept me would be the racial card. Even if I got accepted, I wouldn’t want to go. So expensive. I could never get a scholarship there. I don’t know anymore. I don’t know where I want to go or what I want to do or if I even really care. It’s been hanging over my head for forever, this pressure to get into college and get a good career and make money that I feel almost… desensitized to it. Oh, I don’t doubt that when the time comes and I’m cutting close to the edge, I’ll be stressed out beyond belief about it, but for now, I feel like “bleh.” All I want to do is go back to school in August/September and enjoy/survive my Senior year. If only I could get someone else to take care of all this college business…

Oh, and on that note, SAT IIs suck. So do I. Thank you.